Puzzle 12 or 13

There are many puzzles till date you may solved but here is a very strange puzzle i faced, see the below pic,


PLEASE WAIT UNTIL THE GROUP CHANGES POSITIONS.

IS IT TWELVE OR THIRTEEN??

Keep looking

This will drive you crazy!

WHERE DOES THE EXTRA MAN COME FROM?

Don't ask me...


:)

Indian rupees in swiss bank facts

1) 70 lakhs crores rupees of India are lying in Switzerland banks.  This is the highest amount lying outside any country, from amongst 180 countries of the world, as if India is the champion of Black Money.

2) German Government has officially written to Indian Government that they (German Government) are willing to inform the details of holders of  70 lakh crore rupees in their Banks, if Indian Government officially asks them.

3)  On 22-5-08, this news has already been published in The Times of India and other Newspapers based on German Government's official letter to Indian Government.

4)  But the Indian Government has not sent any official enquiry to Germany for details of money which has been sent outside India between 1947 to 2008.  The opposition party is also equally not interested in doing so because most of the amount is owned by politicians and it is every Indian's money.

5)   This money belongs to our country. From these funds we can repay 13 times of our country's foreign debt. The interest alone can take care of the Centre's yearly budget. People need not pay any taxes and we can pay Rs. 1 lakh to each of 45 crore poor families.

6) Let us imagine, if Swiss Bank is holding Rs. 70 lakh crores, then how much money is lying in other 69 Banks? How much they have deprived the Indian people?  Just think, if the Account holder dies, the bank becomes the owner of the funds in his account.

7) Are these people totally ignorant about the philosophy of Karma? What will this ill-gotten wealth do to them and their families when they own/use such money, generated out of corruption and exploitation?

8)  Indian people have read and have known about these facts.  But the helpless people have neither time  nor inclination to do anything  in the matter.  This is like "a new freedom struggle" and we will have to fight this.

9) This money is the result of our sweat and blood. The wealth generated and earned after putting in lots of mental and physical efforts by Indian people must be brought  back to our country.

10) As a service to our motherland and you contribution to this struggle, please circulate at least 10 copies of this note amongst your friends and relatives and convert it into a mass movement.

read 2 min may be it will change your life

It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations).

What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you. 90% of life is decided by how you react.
What does this mean? We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.

We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.

We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%.

How? ……….By your reaction.

You cannot control a red light. but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example.
You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.

What happens next will be determined by how you react.

You curse.

You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus.

Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit.

After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home.

When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.

Why? …. Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is “D".

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what could have and should have happened.

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "Its ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time". Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and
waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why?

Because of how you REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negative comment affect you!

React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off? Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them?

WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job.

Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.

The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out pour frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on.

Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results
.
You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.

The result?

Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle.

It CAN change your life!!!

Enjoy….

Legal and logical

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student, "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor, "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student, "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an 'A' for the exam."

Professor, "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an 'A', as agreed.

Afterward, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers, "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an 'A', although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."

Software engineers

There was a good old barber. One day a Florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the
Barber and the barber replies:

I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am Doing a Community Service. Florist is happy and leaves the shop.



The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.





A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.



The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.





A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.


The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there......







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A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of Forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut.

Windows con mistary | why we can't create a folder named 'con' in windows

Have you even try this:

In Windows, should you run such a thing, create a new folder. Try and give it the name 'con'.

Can't be done, can it?


Why we can't create a folder named 'con' in windows?

May be below is one reason, i'm also not sure about it-

It's not that weird. 'con' is a reserved word from the old DOS days, simply meaning 'console'. If you wanted to create a new text file in DOS you could type 'copy con newfile.txt' meaning copy from the console to newfile.txt. This would let you type some lines and when you ended the file with ^Z (DOSish for 'end of file') you would have a file called newfile.txt containing whatever you wrote in the console. This is indeed still possible in the Windows XP console, and can you see what mess it would cause if you let files or folders have the name 'con'? What would 'copy con newfile.txt' then mean?

Giving this list of other DOS devices that can't be used as folder names:
CON, PRN, AUX, CLOCK$, NUL, COM1, COM2, COM3, COM4, COM5, COM6, COM7, COM8, COM9, LPT1, LPT2, LPT3, LPT4, LPT5, LPT6, LPT7, LPT8, and LPT9.

Forest joke

 A little rabbit happily running through the forest stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a marijuana cigarette. The rabbit looks at her and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing opium, so the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all, and then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to take a heroin shot... The rabbit says "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat the hell out of the little rabbit.

As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!"

The lion answers..... .....

.
.

"That little devil makes me run around the forest like an idiot for hours every time he's high on cocaine!"

man's thoughts

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-David Bissonette


After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
-Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
-Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
- Anonymous


The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
- Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
-Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
- Anonymous


'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
-Sam Kinison


'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
- James Holt McGavra


Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Patrick Murra



The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
-Nash



You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
-Anonymous



My wife and I were happy for twenty years Then we met.
- Henny Youngman



A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Rodney Dangerfield



A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
- Anonymous


First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
- Anonymous

What Different Roles Mean

Project Manager – is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
 
Developer - is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

On-site Coordinator-  is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

Client-  is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

Marketing Manager- is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

Resource Optimization Team -  thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

Documentation Team - thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
Quality Auditor - is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.

Tester - is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.

HR Manager - is a person who thinks that... a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months !!!
 

Some interesting facts

1. Never hold your nose and cover your mouth when sneezing, as it can blow out your eyeballs.
2. If you part your hair on the right side, you were born to be carnivorous.
3. If you part it on the left, your physical and psychological make-up is that of a vegetarian.
4. ancient Greece, children of wealthy families were dipped in olive oil at birth to keep them hairless throughout their lives.
5. The word "queue" is the only word in the English language that is still pronounced the same way when the last four letters are removed.
6. "Almost" is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.
7. "Rhythm" is the longest English word without a vowel.
8. A cockroach can live several weeks with its head cut off!
9. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.
10. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
11. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people .
12. The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump!
13. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
14. Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails!
15. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin!
16. Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian, and had only ONE testicle.
17. Coca-Cola would be green if coloring weren't added to it.
18. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand.
19. The placement of a donkey's eyes in its' heads enables it to see all four feet at all times!
20. It's against the law to burp, or sneeze in a church in Nebraska, USA.
21. You're born with 300 bones, but by the time you become an adult, you only have 206.
22. Owls are the only birds who can see the color blue.
23. A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue!

A smart person's story

An man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Toronto on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan,  so the Indian man hands over the keys  and documents of new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the man for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?


The Man replies:

"Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return'"

SMS

If a girl vomits, her parents ask: "Kaun hai wo kamina?"
If a guy vomits: "Kamine, kaha se pee ke aaya?"

Moral: No matter who vomits, the guy is always the kamina!!

Mistakes What they actually mean

Mistakes What they actually mean



If a barber makes a mistake,

It's a new style





If a driver makes a mistake, 

It is a New path




If parents makes a mistake,

It is a new generation






If a politician makes a mistake,

It is a new law





If a scientist makes a mistake,

It is a new invention





If a tailor makes a mistake,

It is a new fashion






If a teacher makes a mistake ,
 

It is a new theory







If our boss makes a mistake,

It is a  New idea





 
If an employee makes a mistake,
 

It is a

"Mistake"

 

Desi patni

Desi Patni .....!!




Husband: aaj khane mein kya banaogi?




Wife: Jo aap kaho




H: Dal chawal bana lo


W: Abhi kal hi to khaye the




H: to sabji roti bana lo


W: bacche nahi khayenge




H: to chhole puri bana lo


W: mujhe heavy heavy lagta hai




H: eggs bhurji bana lo


W: aaj guruvaar hai




H: paraanthe?


W: raat ko paraanthe kaun khata hai??




H: Hotel se mangwa lete hain?


W: roz roz hotel ka nahi khana chahiye




H: kadhi chawal?


W: dahi nahi hai




H: idly sambar?


W: usme time lagega.pehle bolna chahiye tha na!!




H: maggi hi bana lo, usme time nahi lagega


W: woh koi meal thodi hai? Pet nahi bharta




H: phir ab kya banaogi?


W: wo jo aap kaho

caste of manager's must read

Manusmriti defines four castes which are namely

  1. Brahmins – the clergy, teacher, religious authority

  2. Kshatriya – the warriors, administrators, political authority

  3. Vaisyas – the merchants, farmers, the business persons

  4. Shudras – the servants, laborers

Let’s try to classify managers purely on the basis of their actions. They may fall into different varna’s from time to time bases on their work.

A)     Brahmin Manager – He is someone who always believes in the power of knowledge and knows what he is doing. He never follows some process blindly and is always ready to question it on the basis of his knowledge and helps in improving process through his contributions. He is ready to accept suggestion from his sub ordinates and never tries to silence them purely in the name of his position. He treats his resources with respect thus gets respect from everyone. People don’t fear him but they admire him because everyone gets to learn something from him. He will never take credit from your work and also he will show you the path for growth but will leave you to move on your own on that path.

 B)      Kshatriya Manager- He is someone who might not be as knowledgeable as a Brahmin manager but he is quite well versed in his work. He always leads the team from front and is ready to take the failure of his team on his shoulders. He will challenge you to do works that may seem tough but he will help you in completing the assigned task and will fight for the recognition of your work which will help him getting his own recognition also. He is very quick in recognizing the talent and will do anything to retain the talent with him. You can expect to grow with him in the organization. His resources are always friends to him.



 C)      Vaisya Manager- He knows the language of money and talks in the terms of monetary loss or profit. He will always try to attract your attention by talking some monetary incentive which he believes can get the best work out of you. He is very average in his knowledge and risk taking abilities. He can complete the work assigned to him but one can’t expect much help in the terms of knowledge from him. If you are working under him then you have to find your own ways to move up the organization ladder. He can only appreciate the end result and not the process of doing work. He believes that by giving some financial incentive he can make anyone do any work.

 D)     Shudra Manager- He is worst kind of manager but he always thinks that he is best. He doesn’t understand logics and is a firm believer in the strict hierarchy. Never try to put any logical thoughts into his mind because he doesn’t believes in taking anything from his juniors. He is there to follow the instructions from higher management in letter and spirit. He will shout, yell and use abusive language in front of everyone if something goes wrong in your work. He will take credit for your work. For him, his resources are his servants, bonded laborers. He will go to extremes to ensure that you never grow. Even if you have completed your work, he will not allow you to get up from your seat and interact with others.

A father's luckiest day

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced :
'Ladies and Gentlemen. Today is the luckiest day of my life ...' Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, 'My daughter finally, finally returned my Credit Card to me.'
The whole audience including the priest started laughing . . . . . But not the poor Groom ! ! !

Priest's marvelous instrument

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favor?”

“Of course. What may I do for you?”

“Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electronic hair dryer for my mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limit, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?”

“I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.”

“With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.”
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?”

“From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.”

The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?”

“I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.”

Roaring with laughter, the official said, “Go ahead, Father. Next!

Reason to forgive

A man was driving home late one afternoon, and he was driving above the speed limit. He looks in his rear view mirror and notices a police car with its red lights. He thinks, "I can outrun this guy", so he floors it.
The cars are racing down the highway -- 60, 70, 80, 90 miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer passes 100, the guy realizes he can`t outrun the cop so he gives up and pulls over to the curb. The police officer gets out of his cruiser and approaches the car.
He leans down and says "Listen mister, I`ve had a really lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse and I`ll let you go."
The man thought for a moment and said, "Three weeks ago my wife ran off with a police officer. When I saw your cruiser in my rear view mirror I thought you were that officer and you were trying to give her back to me!"

Biography of Michael Jackson | Michael Jackson life | imporatant dats of Michael Jackson's life

August 29, 1958: Born in Gary, Indiana.

August 1962: Singing debut with his brothers, The Jackson Five.

March 1969: First Jackson Five contract with Tamla Motown, Detroit's black-owned record label. Michael's voice propels the group onto the hit parade with "ABC" and "I'll Be There".

1970: Launch of solo career alongside that of the Jackson Five.

August 1979: Release of "Off The Wall" album, produced by Quincy Jones, which sold 11 million copies.

December 1982: release of "Thriller" album, whose seven hits included "Billie Jean" and "Beat It," pushing sales to 50 million copies worldwide.

1984: Jackson's face gets burnt during filming for a Pepsi ad.

1985: Buys ATV Music -- a company with rights to John Lennon and Paul McCartney songs -- for 47.5 million dollars.

1985: Jackson writes "We Are The World," which benefited the fight against hunger in Africa.

1987: Release of "Bad," which sold 26 million copies and marked the end of his collaboration with Quincy Jones.

1988: His autobiography "Moonwalk" comes out.

1990: Michael Jackson is seen for the first time wearing a surgical mask in public/

1992: Release of "Dangerous," which sold 22 million copies/

August 1993: A father accuses Jackson of molesting his 13-year-old son, but settles out of court/

May 1994: February 1996: marriage to Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of Elvis/

June 1995: Release of "History" album/

November 1996-October 1999: Marriage to Debbie Rowe, a 37-year-old nurse with whom he has two children, Prince Michael and Paris Michael Katherine
.
October 2001: Release of "Invincible".

July 2002: Jackson accuses record labels of exploiting artists, especially African-Americans.

November 19, 2002: Scandal after Jackson dangles his third son, nine-month-old Prince Michael II, from a Berlin hotel balcony.

January 31, 2003: Sotheby's auction house sues for non-payment of 1.7 million dollars for two paintings.

February 3: In documentary "Living with Michael Jackson" broadcast on ITV, Jackson claims never to have abused a child, merely to have shared his bed.

February: The singer's manager brings a 13-million-dollar lawsuit for back salary, which is settled out of court in June.

November 18: Police raid Jackson's Neverland ranch in California as "Number Ones" album is released.

November 19: Warrant issued for Jackson's arrest on several counts of child molestation.

November 20: Jackson is arrested and handcuffed after surrendering to police, held briefly then released on bail.

December 18: Michael Jackson is formally charged with child molestation.

January 16, 2004: Jackson pleads not guilty during his first appearance amid a media circus.

January 31, 2005: Michael Jackson trial begins with jury selection.

February 28, 2005: Opening arguments begin in trial.

June 4, 2005: Jurors begin considering their verdict.

June 13, 2005: Jackson acquitted on all charges against him.

March 5, 2009: Jackson announces series of comeback concerts in London -- billed as the "final curtain" -- his first major shows for more than a decade.

May 20, 2009: Jackson delays comeback shows. Concert organizers say singer's health is "fantastic".

June 25, 2009: Jackson dies in Los Angeles.

effects of Love marriage

What is the superb picture you ever seen that shows bad effects of Love marriage? See below pics, its real or not i can't say but its here just for fun. I'm not going to hurt anyone's sentiment, and neither says that it cant happen in arrange marriage. But if someone trying to make you smile then why you should not laugh more :)

Its always the kids that suffer, My name is Zonkey

:}

Join the queue

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a
most unusual funeral procession A funeral coffin was followed by a
second one about 50 feet behind the first.
Behind the second coffin was a solitary man
walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking
in single line. The man couldn't stand his curiosity.

He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for
your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've
never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in
single line. Whose funeral is it?

" The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife. " What
happened to her? " !

The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her. "

He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin? "

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my
wife when the dog attacked and it killed her also. "

A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog? "

.

.

.

.

.















The man replied "Join the queue ."

IT professional gave birth to twins

An IT professional gave birth to twins…..

Guess what she named them ….. ????

Click on image to see a larger view

Best baniya jokes

Baniya: Yeh kela (banana) kaisay diya?
Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
Baniya: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
Baniya:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de


Baniya on his death time.
My wife, where r u ?
Wife:Yes, I’m here
My sons daughters ru all here?
Yes, Papa
Baniya:To phir brabar wale kamre
ka pankha Q khula hay ??? :D:D:D


Baniya 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne
apni ghar ki khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!


Baniya ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Sheikh ne usay MERCEDEZ gift kardi.
Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Baniya ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Sheikh ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Baniya:Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
Sheikh:Munna…!! Ab hamarey ander bhi baniye ka khoon dor raha hay:)


Baniya called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
Baniya: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho "Chacha Guzar Gaye".
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Baniya: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do..... Acha likho....... . ......... .
Chacha Guzar Gaye - Maruti for Sale .


Baniya ask to Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Baniya ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.


Baniya ko bhoot charh gaya ,
3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola,
Ojha sahab mujhe bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga


Titanic K Sath Baniya Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Baniya: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda

lol man

 Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

One liner jokes on man by woman

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.

Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are...

Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????.....

Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.

Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.

Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business

Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A: Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions .

Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!

Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

100 facts you must knows about Rajnikant --- Mind it

1. Rajnikanth killed the Dead Sea.

2. When Rajnikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.

3. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajnikanth allowed to live.

4. Rajnikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile.

5. Rajnikanth can divide by zero.

6. Rajnikanth can judge a book by its cover.

7. Rajnikanth can drown a fish.

8. Rajnikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

9. Rajnikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs. 

10. Rajnikanth can slam a revolving door.

11. Rajnikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.

12. Rajnikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.

13. Rajnikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.

14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikanth kicked one of the corners off.

15. Rajnikanth can build a snowman out of rain.

16. Rajnikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

17. Rajnikanth can make onions cry.

18. Rajnikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognises the element of surprise.

19. Rajnikanth has counted to infinity, twice.

20. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes.

21. Rajnikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013.

22. Rajnikanth did, in fact, build Rome in a day.

23. Rajnikanth once got into a knifefight. The knife lost.

24. Rajnikanth can play the violin with a piano.

25. Rajnikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.

26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajnikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved.

27. Rajnikanth can talk about Fight Club.

28. Rajnikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.

29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajnikanth lives in Chennai.

30. Rajnikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.

31. Rajnikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.

32. Rajnikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.

33. Rajnikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajnikanth.

34. Rajnikanth knows Victoria’s secret.

35. Water boils faster when Rajnikanth stares at it.

36. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

37. Rajnikanth kills two stones with one bird.

38. GOOGLE WON’T FIND RAJNIKANTH BECAUSE YOU DON’T FIND HIM, RAJNI FINDS YOU 

39. Once a cobra bit Rajnikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. 

40.RAJNIKANTH PUTS THE LAUGHTER IN ‘MANSLAUGHTER’. 

41. Rajnikanth gave the Joker his scars.

42. Rajnikanth leaves messages before the beep.

43. Rajnikanth once warned a young girl to be good “or else”. The result? Mother Teresa.

44. Rajnikanth electrocuted Iron Man.

45. Rajnikanth killed SpiderMan using Baygon anti-bug spray.

46. Rajnikanth can make PCs better than the Mac.

47. Rajnikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.

48. Rajnikanth can handle the truth.

49. Rajnikanth can speak Braille.

50. Rajnikanth can dodge Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kicks.

51. Rajnikanth calls Voldemort by his name.

52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajnikanth did.

53. Rajnikanth can teach an old dog new tricks

54. Chuck Norris once met Rajnikanth. The result — he was reduced to a joke on the Internet.

55. Rajnikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result, small pox is now eradicated.

56. Rajnikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajnikanth.

57. Rajnikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

58. The last time Rajnikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.

59. Rajnikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.

60. Rajnikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

61. Rajnikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself.

62. Rajnikanth can lick his elbows.

63. Rajnikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

64. Rajnikanth does not get frostbite.Rajnikanth bites frost.

65. Rajnikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

66. Rajnikanth got his driver’s licence at the age of 16 seconds.

67. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajnikanth takes this as a personal insult.

68. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

69. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajnikanth 
was born.

70. The statement “nobody can cheat death”, is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday.

71. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn’t know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.

72. Rajnikanth can give pain to painkillers and headache to Anacin.

73. Rajnikanth knows what women really want.

74. Time and tide wait for Rajnikanth.

75. Rajnikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that’s when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.

76. As a child when Rajnikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet.

77. Rajnikanth collects Honey from his private Moon — HoneyMoon.

78. Rajnikanth can answer a missed call.

79. Rajnikanth doesn’t need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while  the earth rotates.

80. Rajnikanth’s brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury’s.

81. Rajnikanth doesn’t shower. He only takes blood baths.

82. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajnikanth.

83. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Rajnikanth’s fist.

84. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajnikanth, there is no other way.

85. Rajnikanth’s every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog.

86. Rajnikanth doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear.

87. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajnikanth”.

88. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajnikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up.

89. Rajnikanth is a champion in the game ‘hide n’ seek’, as no one can hide from Rajnikanth.

90. Rajnikanth proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.

91. Rajnikanth is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world.

92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajnikanth is on.

93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajnikanth.

94. If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Rajnikanth.

95. Rajnikanth’s first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors. 

96. Rajnikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

97. When Rajnikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

98. Rajnikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

99. Gmail’s new ID: gmail@rajnikanth.com

100. ‘Robot is released. Rajnikanth gives Times of India 3 stars.’

-------------------------MIND IT-------------------------

Fake antivirus worm hits Twitter

Microblogging site Twitter has been hit by a fake antivirus worm. The worm leads the user to an IP address where the option of downloading a fake antivirus is presented. A word of caution has been spread by the Department of Information Technology's cyber security wing to the users.

Users have been prohibited from downloading any link that has been posted in Twitter. The worm is creating havoc by making use of the goo.gl URL shortening service. Following the link will take the user to a fake anti-virus page. When the website is opened, the victim is warned of suspicious software and is given the option of removing all threats from their systems by downloading a fake anti-virus called Security Shield.

Security firm Sophos examined the offending messages and found that they were posted by 'Mobile Web', Twitter's lite interface for mobile phone users. The compromising of the user accounts can be attributed to usernames and passwords being stolen, but it is not confirmed yet. As a precautionary step, Twitter users should change their passwords immediately, tells Sophos.

Mobile Number Portabilty: MNP

Mobile Number Portabilty: MNP

Now in India you can change your mobile operator without changing your number. You have to pay only only 19 rs. Mobile number Portability (MNP) started in

hariyana(India) last year. It seems after MNP comes in action competition between cell operators will goes onto height.

Many questions comes in mind about Mobile number Portability (MNP). Lets try to find answer some of them :

(1) I gave application for change my mobile operator but don't wants to change it now, what to do?

You can withdraw your application within 24 hrs but 19 rs will not get back.

(2) Shall i have to give address and identity proof to new operator also?

Yes, every time you change operator you have to provide verification data.

(3) How much time it takes to change operator?

Minimum 4 days and maximum 7 days.

(4)Should i reset GPRS and MMS setting?

Yes, every time you change operator, you have to do according to these mobile operator.

(5) Should i reset caller tone?

Yes

(6) What to do if i'm a post paid user and wants to usr Mobile number Portability (MNP)?

You have to attach previous operator's last month's paid bill with your MNP application.

(7) can i change operator if my previous operator's bills are due?

Yes, but you have to clear previous dues, otherwise new connection will be closed.

(8) Can pre-paid user's balance will transferred?

No, balance will automatically reduced to zero, so first finish the balance.

(9) Can i use Mobile number Portability (MNP) outside the circle?

No, you can use Mobile number Portability (MNP) only in circle.

(10) will SIM-CARD be changed in Mobile number Portability (MNP)?

Yes, new operator will give you new SIM-CARD.

(11) Can CDMA customer shifted to GSM and GSM shifted to CDMA in Mobile number Portability (MNP)?

Yes, you can.

(12) New connection is taken just before one month, can i change operator now?

No, You have to use one operator's service for at least 3 months and after that you can use Mobile number Portability (MNP).

(13) What is base for rejection of Mobile number Portability (MNP) application?

Few condition will there for Mobile number Portability (MNP) -

(a) If UPC number is wrong in Mobile number Portability (MNP) form,

(b) Previous bill is not paid for post paid users,

(c) New operator is less then 3 month old,

(d) application is not for inter-circle,

(e) there are any kind of legal offense on that number.

How to use Mobile number Portability (MNP)?

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